no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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