I wanna passion pit in your ass
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
