With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
