thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
