The maid of honor just puked.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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