Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
