You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize