how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
