I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
