We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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