Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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