Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize