My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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