Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize