Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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