I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
