So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
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and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
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YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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