he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize