Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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