I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
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We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
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What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Did I turn a man straight...??
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead