Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
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Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
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there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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