he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
