so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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