Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
