We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
