Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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