Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
