Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
