i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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