Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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