i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Sober January is a disaster.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
