dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
