margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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