you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
