guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize