Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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