can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Randomize
