Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
