i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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