i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
