made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
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