pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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