You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
