Cold hands, warm shart.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
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