If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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