you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
