I need help removing her.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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