Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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