I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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