I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
