somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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