I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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