I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
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Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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