So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Sorry about my life...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
