I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize