Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
