if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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