I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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