True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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