You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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