People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
